I am Powerful

See, being a woman is not easy, it is truly never easy to be a woman because a woman is not allowed to make a mistake, or loose. If she is given a chance and she messes it up or fails at it, she will never be given another chance. She will always feel the weight of her past mistakes and failures on her shoulders.

I was eavesdropping on a conversation between a group of men and I must say it was hard to listen to it. I was listening to them talking bad about women. they were talking about how disrespectful women are to themselves, of how naïve and vulnerable women can be. This group of man where judging women based on their attire, based on who they choose to sleep with, and who they choose to love. They were judging women for being single mothers, they were judging women for just being a woman.

Black women spend most of their time trying not be an angry black women that they forget to be themselves. They are so focus on not being what the society has projected them to be. Unfortunately they end up becoming what they did not want to become.

I am a woman who is exhausted, fed up and tired. I am a woman who has had enough. I am tired of being judged of my choices, I am tired of being marginalized because I have a stupid vagina. I am tired of being judged because I am skinny. I am tired of being judged because of my emotions. I am tired of being judged because of my feminine nature. And tired of being judged before I can even open my mouth.

Let not your idea of who I am be my destination because I am greater than you can never imagine. I am bigger and better, smarter and more beautiful than you have ever imagined. I am a force to be reckoned with. I am prominent and my work is prestigious.

If you thought that I would be the person that you had created me to be in your imagination, then you are very much mistaken. I follow my guts and listen to my heart, that is who I am. I act on my instinct, that is who I am. I do what feels true, that is who I am. you do you and I do me because I am me The sad thing about being a woman is that, a single women represent all women. her mistakes are every women’s mistakes. Her failures are every women’s failures. Unfortunately, her success is not everywoman’s success because a woman never succeeds in anything they do. It’s not that they don’t, they do succeed, but a women’s success is not seen nor is it celebrated. Her success is questioned and doubted. She either got help from someone or she is just the phase of someone else’s success because it is impossible for her to succeed. A woman can never get anything right. A mother, when her children became the total opposite of what she raised them to be, she is blamed. However, if they became what she has raised them to be, the father gets all the credits.

I very often times get fed up of who I am. I get sick of myself. I get annoyed of what I am. I get agitated because I am not as good as I want to be. Unfortunately, I am stuck with myself, trying to be as good as I can be and the best version of myself. Sometimes I can’t even find strength to prove that I am good so I just end up focusing on the negative energy and consume all the cynical opinions that people say about me and end up believing them because I am struggling to prove to the world that I can be more than what you see me to be. That I am very much blessed and talented. I am a women and I was born to struggle in any way possible. I am a women and I will always be looked down upon and talked about. I am a woman and I am meant to explain my each and every move.

With great power comes great responsibility. My biggest desire is to be able to fully express myself and speak my authentic truth. I want to be fearless, be a sister girl, a good role model. I want to be in the same conversation with man. I want to be able to make decisions and speak my opinions without being asked if I am PMsing. I am a woman. please don’t cage me, I want to be free.